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Hello,

I found this very informational, but I need help understanding it practically. How does this translate into my regular daily experiences with desire for girls and sexual appetite?

I feel like all I've gotten out of this article is a stark truth without anything that actually helps me to walk as a better Christian. I feel like your main point is that I sin every time I feel any kind of desire for a girl (a single girl, in which I'm a single man), and that I must "repent" each time by asking God to forgive me.

Clearly, as you can see, this makes me feel like my desire is inherently sinful. And I think that's actually what your article states. I'm also confused because you seem to use the word "Concupiscence" in a broader sense that allows for more than just sexual desire.

I'm left with questions. How can sexual desire be inherently sinful if God made Eve for Adam, with both of them naked, and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply? And throughout the old testament you see men desiring beautiful women, such in the case of Isaac, where God provided him with his wife. On top of that, I'm not in David's position at all where I've allowed uncontrolled lust to lead me to murder a man for his wife.

I guess all I'm asking is that, as a single man looking for a single woman to become my wife, how does this teaching practically apply to my situation?

Thank you.

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Hi Peyton,

These are great questions! I'll respond briefly, but most of what you are asking really is something that I wouldn't be able to answer from afar. I'd strongly encourage you to think through this with your pastors and elders.

Additionally, I would commend to you the report my own denomination (the PCA) put out on human sexuality:

https://pcaga.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/AIC-Report-to-48th-GA-5-28-20-1.pdf

Just reading pp. 6–13 of this would provide much greater clarity on many of the questions you are asking. But, to respond to specific questions you raised, here are two brief comments:

First, I think a distinction should be drawn between a desire to be married (or, even a desire to marry a particular person) and a sexual desire for someone to whom you are not married. For a single man, a desire to be married is a good thing, but we are still called to keep control of our sexual desires before (and, outside of) marriage. It is not that sexual desires *themselves* are sinful, but only that sexual desires *outside* of marriage are sinful, since God created marriage to be the sole context for sexual desire and activity. (In other words, Adam's desire for Eve was *not* sinful, because God gave Eve to Adam in marriage, which sanctified the desire and his acts of "knowing" his wife.)

(Also, yes, concupiscence refers to desire for anything that is sinful, so that it would include more than simply sexual sin. Concupiscence is the "coveting" of anything that is forbidden in the Tenth Commandment.)

Second, I think it's helpful to recognize that repentance and faith is the foundation of the Christian life. In the first thesis of Martin Luther's 95 theses, he wrote, "When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, 'Repent' (Mt 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance." This was the very first word of the Protestant Reformation, and for good reason. When we repent, we are doing more than saying "sorry" to God. Beyond that, we are doing something supernatural—confessing and acknowledging our sin, including the deep, concupiscent, original sin that we are helpless to fix. Then, we are asking for God not only to forgive us, but to cleanse and renew us.

Ultimately, repentance isn't about modifying my behavior under my own power. Rather, repentance is about crying out to God to "create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me" (Ps. 51:10). It is not a mechanical process, but a continuous act of turning from my sin and turning to Christ for forgiveness and for sanctification. We will fail many times, but Jesus told us that the whole life ought to be one of repentance.

I hope that some of this is helpful; however, I would encourage you to work through these questions with your own pastor.

In Christ,

Jacob

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Hi,

Thank you for responding to this. It helped me understand your article a lot more and proved really useful to me.

Have a great day.

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